Indonesia Expat
Lifestyle Observations

Coping with the Loss of Loved Ones during the Festive Season


Christmas is just around the corner and it is bound to bring back feelings of loss and deep yearning for the people we love who have passed.

Festivities rekindle memories of the people we have lost in life, especially when it is a family tradition to gather and celebrate it together.

The COVID-19 pandemic has caused more of us to lose the people we love and the process of healing will take time. Sadly, the oncoming festivities can make the healing process even more challenging.

Writing this article reminds me of my late dad who passed on a few years ago. Every year, I vividly recall how painful and sad the festive season gets after his passing. I’m not an expert on the issue but here are some suggestions you can try in order to cope with loss better this festive season.

Visit Their Grave and Say a Prayer
A person’s grave is the closest you can physically be to someone who has died. Visiting their grave and saying a prayer – if you are religiously inclined – may put your heart and mind at peace. You can clean the grave of any weeds or you can speak to it as if you were conversing with your loved one when they were alive. This will make you feel less lonely and you will feel embraced with serenity.

Talk about Happy Memories Together as a Family
As with any time of high spirits, you will probably be gathering with your family members, especially if they live in the same city or country. Use this gathering as a chance to reminisce about joyful memories you have about the one you lost. Talk about your last trip together, the time they cracked a joke that made everyone laugh until they had tears in their eyes, and wise words they used to say to the family. Talk, laugh, and cry together as you recall the sweet moments. When you are done, say a prayer together to bless their soul, if that’s your style.

Coping with the Loss of Loved Ones during the Festive Season
Coping with the Loss of Loved Ones during the Festive Season

Write a Letter to the Person you Lost
Writing can be a healing process to cope with the sudden feeling of loss during the festive season. Write a letter to your loved one. Tell them all about your life, your family, your job, and how much you miss them. In your letter, you can pretty much write about anything that you want to share.

Perhaps you did not get closure from a sudden passing and you still have some issues to get off your chest. Writing the letter should be healing and hopefully, you can then let go of the anger and resentment that you harbor. After writing the letter, you can tear it apart, burn it, or bury it, especially if you do not want your letter to be read by others.

Make a Donation in Your Loved One’s Name
In the festive season, what could be better than giving to the underprivileged to brighten their life? If there is a religious organization or other foundation that your loved one supported in his life, you can make a donation under their name so that it can continue to receive aid from your dead loved one, even after their passing. If you can’t think of a cause they supported, consider making a donation in their name to a foundation that you support, instead.

Get Professional Help
If the feeling of loss and grief is too much to bear, please seek professional help from a psychiatrist or psychologist. Psychiatrists can prescribe medication in addition to offering therapy, whereas most psychologists can only provide non-medical therapy. You will need to make a choice about which may be better for your mental health. Do not shy away from professional help, because sometimes the grief is too much for us to process alone and it can be detrimental in the long run.

With this, I hope this festive season will be a healing one for you and your loved ones. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Reference – bestcounselingdegrees

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