Indonesia Expat
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Finding Love in Bali

Finding love in Bali can be Russian roulette at the best of times


Finding true love anywhere these days is difficult or it seems maintaining the love buzz is more of the problem, as you just need to check the statistics of divorce rates and rising numbers of single people out there. Relationships have become dispensable like everything else with societies’ consumer mentality. Out with the old and in with the new.

Bali is not just a holiday destination for the globe-trotting surfer but people from all over the world come to here to get married and who wouldn’t? With some of the most stunning scenery and idealistic beach settings to be found you can have a wedding that would cost you millions, say on the island of Capri but a wedding in Bali can just be millions of Rupiah which is far nicer on the wallet. With beach front resorts and villas perfect for the honeymooner or couple celebrating their wedding anniversary alike it’s very hard not to feel romantic walking along the beach when one of those killer sunsets strike. There are many beautiful couples here in the expat community who have found long lasting love and have very committed relationships that will stand the test of time. Kudos to them.

So what about those of us who are single and trying to find true love on temptation island? Without trying to sound cynical, finding love in Bali can be Russian roulette at the best of times. You could either be sweet talked into the bedroom by a gorgeous little gold digger who is looking for someone to support them and their entire village, or you could be victim of being cheated on repeatedly. I have heard of so many cases from personal friends and strangers alike stung by the sting of their free loving partners, it’s like an everyday occurrence here. Then there is the case of expats going out with married men or women which is just another case of throwing the spicy dice and expecting…what exactly?

If you have had enough of the local loving then you might just prefer ‘love’ of the one night varieties where clubs and bars in Kuta and Seminyak offer a haven of selections for the younger generation, or older if you like to prowl like a cougar. What a cynical way to start this article you might state. No, these are the cold hard facts of finding TRUE love in Bali. Firstly, you are on an island where transience abounds and people come and go.

For all you single people out there, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. There are the lucky few who have managed to find love in Bali and it was my mission to find out just how they did that. Some of these stories might give you some nice warm fuzzies or may cause you to raise your eyebrows and it is for the latter reason they remain nameless to protect their identity. The end of this article will discuss some of the best ways to attract your ideal partner so you too can find love in Bali. Hallelujah.

Couple A:

She is half Indonesian and half Dutch, raised in the Netherlands. He is French. They met in the surf at Nusa Dua a year ago and kept bumping into each other at various bars around Seminyak. They are now happily living together, surfing together daily and making a wonderful life together in Bali. The difficulty they face of sustaining the relationship is that he has to return to France each summer for work commitments so they have a couple of months apart. Facebook and Skype are their saving grace during these times, as is for many couples where long distance is an issue.

Couple B: How did they meet?

At a party through mutual friends. She is Indonesian and he is American. She is also married to another man who spends most of his time in Britain. This couple have had their ups and downs for obvious reasons but have continued their relationship for close to two years now. The difficulty of maintaining this relationship lies in the fact that the husband does return to Bali for a couple of weeks twice a year. This is a trying time for both of them and they often split up during this time. They admit they do love each other deeply, despite the fact they have had numerous breakups there is always the inevitable ‘get back together’ situation. The passion keeps it alive but there is a question mark over how long this will continue as the American man is considering moving away from Bali in the future to pursue other career options.

Couple C: How did they meet?

At a bar in Kuta. She is American and he is Australian. She has worked and lived here for three years. This was a case of cat and mouse for a while as both of them thought the other viewed it as just a casual thing. Until they realized they were spending every day and night together they finally made it official and became a couple. Very sweet to watch. The difficulty of maintaining their relationship is that he has to return to Australia every second month to work. They have recently decided to both move to Australia now and return to Bali for holidays.

So it can happen.

When I have spoken to my single friends we all have the same complaints. Do we really have to go to a bar to meet someone as it seems this whole island is just geared up for that sort of thing.

Here are some other ideas.

If you want to meet someone spiritual, join a meditation group or even a local international church. In fact ICC based at the Mecure Hotel down past Discovery Mall is holding a series of talks on relationships this month. Next Sunday their talk will be ‘How to be single and happy’. The following week will be about how to attract a partner and the next couple of weeks will be for married couples who want to keep their marriage solid with Christian principles, which is good for everyone whether you are Christian or not.

If you are into outdoor activities, obviously the beach is a great place to meet people. In the surf if you are not too competitive you might just want to paddle up to someone and say hi. Running on the beach at sunset would also be a great idea. Or if you are into diving go to some diving spots and hang out at dive clubs. Join a yoga class if you want to meet someone health-conscious and of course the gym is always a great place, too.

Last but not least though, using the laws of attraction, make a wish list of all the qualities you would like in a partner. Then ask yourself, would the person on this list want to be with a person like you? Maybe you need to make some changes in your life to attract the person you really want.

May you all experience love in your life today.

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