Indonesia Expat

OMG Skool is Soooo Yesterday!

These dayz edukashun trewly is a compleet waist of time. Don’t need English anymore cz we alwz abbreviate and every1 understands anyway. Don’t need maths cz we hv calculatirs. Don’t need histarey, jeografy or syence cuz we hv Google.

So y r we still sending are kids to skool? Here’s why.

Real Facebook and Twitter posts:

“If u put 60 seconds on the microwave its different from putting 1:00 because if you add 1:00 + 1:00 = 2:00 but if u add 60+60 = 120 so 1 minute isn’t the same as 60 seconds because your food will cook less if you keep pressing 60 instead of 1:00. I know its confusing.”

The only thing that’s right is the last bit.

“Does anyone know if the air from a fan can blow away the particles from wireless signal? Having trouble in my room.”

No it can’t. But it can blow your brains out apparently.

“I woke up to gun shots this morning coming from my backyard! my 3 year old son have my 9mm GLOCK in his hand firing at some dog who got in are yard. my son hit him once. the dog will never come in my yard again. I took gun from my son. and change his pampers and gave him his sippy cup. wow!”

Let’s see: 1. Gun left lying around loaded. 2. Three year old can reach the gun 3. Three-year-old running round unattended. 4. Apparently only the dog learned a lesson.

Good thing you weren’t having a family barbecue in your backyard at the time, mate. Or maybe it would have been better for everyone if you had been.

“Titanic must be fake how could someone record it because everyone was dead and

drounding? :/”

They gave the film crew scuba gear, darling.

“I’m not a bloody taxi service, if you want a lift I expect money.”

Errrmmm… wouldn’t that make you a taxi service?

“If baracco barner is our president why is he getting involved with Russia? Scary.”

So many problems with this, Britney. Go and get your nails done.

“He sprayed his colon on me so he is all I can smell.”

Well that’s understandable. Maybe some cologne would help?

“How far of a drive is it from Miami to Florida?”

I think you’d be safer on the special bus with your friends.

“Omggg, Sooo i don’t like dolphins anymore!! Squirrels are my new favorite reptile SOOOO CUTTEEE!”

Agree. And squirrel eggs also taste so much better than dolphin eggs.

“Does it take 18 months for twins to be born?”

Yes. Yes it does. And sextuplets take four and a half years.

And finally…

“Dear school why do you excist? suncerly me and about half the world”

Nuff said.


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