Indonesia Expat
Comedy Outreach

Solution to the Global Economic Crisis

Approved by Bill Gates
Approved by Bill Gates

We are, most of us, living far from our families, which is good for some people and sad for others. As my family will read this article, I have to say that I am extremely sad to be far from them (and I know that none of them will believe me, even my own mother). I always feel a bit depressed when I hang up the phone. Then, I go to lie down on my bed and watch French TV. Then I am more depressed again.

I was almost satisfied to feel that way, it meant that I was missing my country and my family. But yesterday, I tried to analyse the exact reasons for this sad feeling and it was not at all because I was missing something, it was because my country and my family make me depressed! Western people are totally under control of the media, TV, paper, and the radio. Their whole lives are dictated by the media. From morning to evening they follow all this mess and the smart phone doesn’t help either.

Can you imagine, my friends in Europe are working 10 hours a day in a stressful office atmosphere and every three minutes, their smart phone vibrates to inform them that there is an earthquake in east Timor, that Iran has finally succeed to own a bomb, that the crisis is much bigger than planned, that Greece is soon for sale, that we have to pay our debt for the next 200 generations, that the planet is going nuts, the water will be soon be all over Paris and Amsterdam (Amsterdam first ya), then my family and friends read all this good news and start to work again, and five minutes later, another “injection of good news” from the newspaper that they just opened on the laptop instead of working, and here we go again… Ten dead in a gold mine in Mongolia, a report says that we will all probably die from a cancer, a plane crash in Siberia kills 120, a bomb in Afghanistan kills 20. Then they start to work again.

By lunch time, some of them are close to attempting suicide. But they still carry on, stopping to buy a newspaper and reading again about the same stories, but with more dirty details, and more dirty pictures. Then during lunch they talk about all this news with their colleagues: “Oh you see, this kid has been killed by the neighbour,” or “Look at this, the stock market crashed for the 6th consecutive day,” or “My God, they expect that we will all lose our jobs five times during our lives.” Etc, etc, etc! Then they arrive home and they immediately switch on their TVs and watch the same stupid sad news. I’m not talking about my dad or my mum or my friends in particular, millions of them follow this routine.

On the other side of the planet where we live, nobody cares about all this news. At first, I was a bit shocked and thought that it was not so responsible. So I started to blame all my Indonesian friends for not being interested about what was going on in this world. I partly still believed that we have to get information, but it’s totally extreme in western countries. The “negative energy injection” from the media is permanent and everywhere. I don’t want to be hostage anymore to this big organised mess so I don’t read the newspaper and don’t watch the news anymore since two weeks. What do you think happened to me? Only a positive feeling, from morning to evening! I just focus on my job, on my books, on my antiques, on my movies (the stupid American ones with the best stupid happy endings), my fishing trips, my wine time with friends, my writing. Does it makes me ignorant and a jerk to have missed: The euro crash, the bombs, the murders of some kids, the insecurity of the European markets, the new born baby of Carla and Nicolas Sarkozy, the crash of the Nasdaq? I don t think so. Honestly, nobody will believe that I can help to change that mess into something nicer right?

But we can all do something together. If you want to join my “new age group”, my sect, my “French grumpy man” philosophy and show your government that you don’t want to be a part of this mess, if you want to feel free again, if you want to enjoy your life again, then ‘Like’ my Facebook page:

Prepare to engage yourself in a new spirit. Honestly, I feel like I’m one of those crazy gurus who ask you to join scientology or other crazy sects like this, but with me, it’s really for free.

So you have to be ready to pledge for 30 days to have NO contact at all with any news from any media (except Jakarta expat ya) including :

  • TV news
  •  Radio
  • Newspaper
  • Smart phone alert news
  • All discussion related to the world or local news
  • Nothing at all

And you also must pledge to give 30 USD during thes 30 days to a charity organisation.

And you also have to pledge to watch the documentary called “Man on Wire” at least twice during these 30 days.

For the ones who succeed for 30 days, then I will be very happy to read their comments, their feelings, their new behaviours, basically what has changed in their lives.

To conclude, I feel a bit sorry to have written this article as it’s not funny at all and you all ask me to be grumpy and funny! This time I am really just grumpy. But I have a good feeling that I am on the way to finding a solution for this bloody global economic crisis. The Grumpy French man becomes “ SUUUPER GRUMPY” and will save the world of the depression.

Sorry again, next time a funny one ya…

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