Indonesian wedding customs have always been a subject of cultural fascination among locals and expatriates alike.
The wedding processions held by the Batak Toba tribe are one of the prime examples.
In recent years, especially thanks to films and social media, many Indonesians and foreign nationals have grown fascinated by the wedding processions commonly held by the people of the Batak Toba ethnic culture. Some have been amazed by the layered complexities, while others have been astonished by how the pre-wedding processions and wedding-day processions are, ultimately, centred on an uncompromisingly singular core: family.
For the Batak Toba tribe, marriage does not stop at a union between husband and wife alone. Instead, it is about establishing harmony between the two families, as both parties recognise and honour each other in order to ensure happiness for their beloved children’s marital future.
The pre-wedding processions
Before anything ‘serious’ begins, the groom’s family must propose marriage to the bride’s family, during which the bride’s family will give their official response. This particular custom is called paranakkon hata. Unlike most wedding customs in the West, for the Batak Toba tribe, a wedding does not automatically follow suit just because the bride says “yes”.
The first procession, thus, ensues: marhusip, which literally means “whispering”. However, it’s actually a private discussion conducted only by representatives from the bride and groom. During this meeting, the dowry and all wedding preparations are discussed. Next comes the martuppol stage, also known as the engagement, which also involves the creation of a prenuptial agreement in front of the church congregation, particularly among Batak Toba natives who happen to be Christians.
Once the martuppol stage has been completed, it’s time to discuss the dowry the groom will give to the bride, such as the animal to be slaughtered, the number of guests, the number of ulos to be given, and the location of the party. This stage, called marhata sinamot, is held at the bride’s home. The next stage, martonggo raja, is a large, ceremonial meeting before the traditional ceremony to seek their permission from those who will participate in the wedding’s preparations, including with regard to the wedding venue.
The wedding-day processions
The marsibuhabuhai stage is held in the morning before the blessing ceremony and traditional feast, which includes the closest family members. The main purpose of this procession is to pay respect to the family of the bride, as the latter leaves home to join her husband. The next stage, manjalo pasu-pasu parbagason, is the wedding blessing ceremony, which is entirely under the authority of the church and serves as a form of legalisation of the marriage through a religious institution.
Interestingly, the manjalo pasu-pasu parbagason is typically held concurrently with the civil registration. Civil registration, in the case of Batak Toba weddings, is simply limited to the signing of administrative documents by witnesses from both parties who will be present at the church.
After the church blessing, it’s time for the traditional ceremony in the wedding hall. The groom’s family calls this traditional ceremony “marunjuk,” whereas the bride’s family calls it “mangan tuhor“. During the presentation of the tudu-tudu sipanganon (feast offerings), the groom presents a whole animal, while the bride presents a goldfish. The meaning of presenting the tudu-tudu sipanganon is to demonstrate humility, as even though the food brought is modest, it is hoped that it will nonetheless bring enjoyment to the families and the wedding guests. Separately, the uncles of both bride’s and groom’s parties will present a goldfish called dengke simudur-mudur–ideally fished directly from the waters of Batak lands.
Also, upon entering the wedding hall, each group of women carries a tanduk filled with rice—a token of support or donation to the bride and groom as they perform their wedding customs.
Meanwhile, the marsiseanan ceremony is considered the culmination of the Batak Toba wedding procession. The marsiseanan ceremony usually begins with the presentation of pinggan panungkunan, filled with rice, betel leaves and money. Pinggan panungkunan is prepared by the groom’s party and handed over to the bride’s party, symbolising the beginning of a traditional conversation between the two parties seated opposite each other. Afterwards, the handover of panandaion—a token usually in the form of money in an agreed-upon amount—is conducted by the groom for the bride’s family as the two families get to know each other better.
Titip marangkup, which literally means a unifying ring, signifies the agreement between the groom’s family (particularly, the uncle) and the bride’s parents. With titip marangkup, the groom’s family is expected to treat the bride as if she were their daughter.
Perhaps the Batak Toba wedding procession that has become most recognisable among most Indonesians—and even foreigners—is mangulosi, during which ulos is presented. Ulos is a woven cloth worn by the Bataknese in all kinds of ceremonies, including weddings. The presentation of ulos at a wedding is seen as a way of expressing the love of the bride and groom.
The post-wedding day processions
The final processions in a Batak Toba wedding, which usually take place after the wedding day, are paulak une and maningkir tangga. Paulak une is the process by which the groom’s close relatives and his wife make their first visit to the bride’s parents’ home. Meanwhile, maningkir tangga is the opposite.
What’s forbidden
Interestingly—and this should be noted by anyone interested in marrying a Batak Toba native—there are several conditions which, ultimately, forbid a wedding with a Batak Toba native to ensue:
- A couple from the same Bataknese clan is prohibited from marrying, as it means that they are still related by blood.
- Certain Bataknese clans have made an ‘agreement’ in the past not to let their children marry one another. Padan is an agreement or vow agreed upon by those clans’ ancestors, which, until today, prohibits any man and woman who are part of those clans from marrying each other.
- In-law relatives from the same clan are prohibited from marrying. For example, if a man has married a woman, the man’s brother may not remarry the woman’s sister, and vice versa.
- When the man has a biological brother, he is only permitted to marry one of his maternal siblings (the daughter of his mother’s biological brother), also known as pariban. For example, there are two brothers, and they happen to have three pariban. Therefore, only one of the brothers is allowed to marry one of the pariban(s);
- A man cannot marry a woman whose clan is the same as his biological mother’s clan;
- A man is prohibited from marrying a woman who is the daughter of the sister of the man’s biological father, and vice versa.