Remember the saying, “When in Rome, do as the Romans do”? Whether you are an expatriate staying for a temporary period or living for a long time in Indonesia, it is better to learn the local manners to show respect and build positive relationships with the community.
Indonesia is considered one of the most conservative countries, particularly when it comes to manners and traditions. This is also the reason why foreigners keep coming back; not only to enjoy the tourist destinations, but also to experience the warm greeting from the locals.
However, as a first timer, you may get shocked by the cultural differences. Here, in Indonesia, paying some respect is crucial. Otherwise, you could be hated by the citizens. What an unfortunate experience to get hatred instead of love, right?
In case you would not know what to do, Indonesia Expat recommends the following manners to help you gain respect from the locals, which you can also teach your children (if you bring family) during your stay.
Smiling and greeting
The first thing you need to know is that Indonesian people are very welcoming to tourists. You do not have to worry about being intimidated or deserted. All you have to do is be polite to the locals. You can start with a lovely smile and say hello to them. Regardless of their age, they will reply to you nicely.
Salim
Indonesian people tend to respect their elders more than anything. This is done by doing salim—a respectful way to greet older and honoured people by grabbing one of their hands (usually the right side) and lightly touching it to your forehead while bowing your upper body.
Bowing when passing others
If you are walking on a street and see a bunch of people residing in the place, the locals will not just pass them, as it shows superiority and is considered disrespectful, especially if they are elders. Once you are in this situation, it is better to bow a little bit whilst walking in front of them and say “permisi” (in English: “excuse me”). They might not be aware of the surroundings, but since you do it this way, they notice that someone is going to pass them; then, they will give you some space to go through. As an act of respect, they will usually respond to you by saying “iya” or “silakan” (in English: “yes, please”).
Calling names with titles
Unlike in the West, where friends or colleagues are usually addressed by name, Indonesians often use specific titles based on age. Commonly, “bapak” is used to address an adult man and “ibu” for an adult woman, functioning much like “Mr.” and “Mrs.” in English. However, some regions have their own particular titles. For instance, in Jakarta, people say “abang” for an older male and “kakak” for an older female; in Java (except West Java), “mas” is used for men and “mbak” for women; while in Bali, people often use “bli” for males and “mbok” for females.
Gotong royong
This term refers to the act of working together and helping each other to achieve a common goal. It is deeply rooted in Indonesian culture and is often seen in neighbourhoods where the community get along together to clean their surroundings, build community facilities, or support one another during important events.
Gotong royong reflects a spirit of solidarity, mutual care, and the belief that collective effort benefits everyone. Once you help the locals, they will pay you back by helping when you are in need.
Giving and taking by using your right hand
It seems complicated while you have two hands to move, but you can only use one. Nevertheless, as Indonesia is based on religious beliefs, the right hand is considered the proper one for respectful interaction. The main reason is that the left hand is usually associated with dirty tasks, such as personal hygiene and taking out the garbage, and it is impolite to give and take with it. Hence, doing good things with your right hand is a way of showing courtesy toward others.
Pre-meal utterance
This one is perhaps regarded as the most unique one among these manners. Before having a meal, if you are with friends, relatives, or acquaintances, it is common to say “makan” to announce to everyone that you are about to eat. It sounds as if you ask for their permission to enjoy your meal. As odd as this might sound, however, this is simply how the Indonesian locals start their feast in a communal dining. Even if you are eating alone, it is still normal to say the phrase when someone you know is nearby.
What is written above are just some of the general manners that foreigners can learn during their stay, or before arriving in Indonesia. Hopefully, by understanding these simple traditions, both tourists and locals can foster a respectful environment, which can be beneficial for everyone, as well.